Written in the stars
by Blue Sabbath
Summary: Timmy Turner is a well versed young man. He has a job and good looking features, still his relationship status always changes from "Comitted" to "single" within mere moments. They say it is the fault of the stars, whose fault is it anyway? Can the new "Vedic" astrologer shed some light and stop his emotional suffering? I don't own FOP please R&R(one shot)


The famous Madame Birkoff was waiting in her camber. A new client will be visiting her shortly. She was a very renowned vedic astrologer. Her clients were full of her praises, they would often say that she was the fate incarnate. She would predict major characteristic features of her clients just in the first meeting. The local media even called her the eighth wonder of the world.

To be fair she was well versed in consumer psychology and knew a bunch of astrological jargons, which helped her business to boom. Any potential competitors were subjugated or intimidated. Her channels in law enforcement department gave her this edge over her competitors.

The new client entered, he was young man of early twenties, brown hair, blue eyes and a very cute face. He was attractive in a nutshell; suddenly something kicked in her brain, yup he had be "him". A sly smile appeared on her face, though not noticed by her client.

Timothy Turner didn't have any reasons whatsoever to consult an astrologer as his career as a civil engineer was going pretty smoothly and his life was near perfect, the keyword being near. Despite being an affluent bachelor he can't seem to keep a steady girlfriend due to ill fate, he would easily fall in love with someone, will win her over with his looks and mannerisms. Will also date her, but due to very nominal issues his relationships seem to break apart.

He was able to persuade his long term crush Trixie Tang when he was 14, but the relationship lasted only for a week. They broke up on a very petty issue, as he was only 5 minutes late for the movie premire. On any other day it wouldn't have mattered, but on that eventful day Trixie's dad lost a fortune in the stock market so Trixie was in a sour mood.

However he tried ,all his relationships were very short lived. They would usually end due to very small issue but the catch is that the circumstances would also be very adverse to magnify the effect 100 folds.

He consulted his best buddies from the childhood. Chester and Aj. Both could only console him and laugh behind his backs. Still Chester gave him the info about this famous Vedic Diva "Madame Birkoff".

"Look man, It is quite clear that there is a fault in your stars. This woman is the boss of all astrologers around. Her vedic astrology cured one of my colleagues from severe depression. She is worth a try." the blonde said.

AJ with his traditional intellectual demeanour added "I am a bit skeptical, but who knows , it might calm you a bit around the girls."

The conversation ended there, the three friends resumed enjoying their weekend booz-together.

That was 5 days ago, he managed to get an appointment on the next Friday at 7.30. Thus he was sitting opposite to the great vedic astrologer.

She asked him in a polite tone "Take a seat Mr. Turner, and tell me your birth date."

Timmy was surprised, he imagined there would be a parrot and bundle of saffron papers with Swastika symbols in her chamber, like a traditional hindu astrologer. But he was surprised to note the absence of the afro-mentioned things and presence of a high end current laptop on table.

He sat directly opposite to her, and conveyed his date of birth with the time.

"So 31st March 1992, 10 am in the morning?" She asked for verification.

He replied "Yup, and it was Sunday."

She entered the data in her laptop and said "Do you want a hard copy of your horoscope?"

He replied "Yes that will be good."

She clicked the print option as both the client and the astrologer sat in silence.

Now Timmy got a chance to take a meaningful look at her. She was in her late Twenties. A gorgeous woman with a very sensually built body. Fiery red hair and Pink eyes. He was sure that this person looks like somebody he knew, but couldn't recall. She has features like her but she can never be this gorgeous and Icki Vicki the astrologer, he just choked laughing on the mental image.

The sound of the printer broke his trance, while eyes were glued to the laptop screen. Four piece papers came out of the printer, she collected them and stapled the pages.

"Now let's start the reading, shall we ?" She asked Timmy.

He obliged...

She stated "According to Vedic astrology 12 signs denotes 12 aspects of your life. The planetary positions in you case is quite extra-ordinary."

"Moon is in your ascendant, that's why you are quite handsome. Your 10th lord i.e. career lord is exalted and so is your 11th lord aka income lord So you have great career prospect and good amount of wealth. You deal in Engineering, likely civil engineering."

On a mental note Madame was Rofling on Timmy's obliviousness, "Surely, he doesn't have a clue about my information network."

He gasped, she was hitting the targets, till now she predicted everything perfectly.

She added on "Your health is also good as your ascendant lord is well placed. But I see a problem."

His heart began thumping against his chest, "here it comes" he steadied himself like a pow facing the firing squad.

"Your father and mother are apathetic as you have weak 4th and 5th lords. 8th lord or your enemy lord is sitting exalted in your 7th house. 7th house represents your lovelife. Your 7th lord is debilitated."

He squeaked somehow "What does it mean?"

"Well, this means that love of your life is your supposed enenmy. Despite she makes you miserable you remain content with her presence. Your enemy has full control over your lovelife. It's either her or none. Though she treated you badly in the past but as far as I am concerned she is your only choice to make things right. Your debilitated 7 th lord gives the impression that your lovelife in general is shaky and you will always end up hurting yourself if the loved one is not your enemy."

"How could you possibly know?" he almost shouted in astonishment.

"I am an astrologer, I need to know stuff." she replied.

She is predicting his life like she has seen it herself, his apathetic parents, his sadistic babysitter Vicki. Even the fact that when Vicki left, he felt empty from the very next day. As if a part of him was missing. He never missed the torture or the intimidation but he missed her. He couldn't figure it out. A puppy love might be the case, that's how he put the idea to rest. Nobody knows about it not even his best buddies.

"So do I need to find her? can't you prescribe a stone or something?" he almost said it as his life was at stake.

"Nope, it can't be helped, your enemy is too strong, you are just fortunate that she is not sitting in any other houses. As it is the house of love she will eventually shun her hatred towards you but you have to bite the occasional bullets. I can prescribe some stupid precious stone and milch you. But I don't want to do it."

This brutal honesty stumped him; just like then, in that snow filled cave where, they were trapped and he eventually figured out that Vicki had her reasons to be a meanie.

The astrologer narrowed her eyes on him with a menacing smile on her face, he looked at her and almost jumped of his seat.

"It's you, You are an astrologer? How is that even possible?" he figured out what he had said and franticly apologised "I didn't mean it, please don't kill me."

Her smile grew a bit "Relax Twerp, I am not gonna kill you, killing such a cute guy like you is horrendous."

He was aware of her mind games , in those days she would often give him a false sense of protection and when he put his guard down a verbal sucker punch would fly in. "Please let me live, I won't tell anybody about this , I will do anything."

She was surprised at first, but when the memories flooded into her brain, she just chuckled, "Get over with it, now I am 28 and you are 22, we are not 8 and 14 any more."

Still he was very frightened, she used it as her advantage, she leaned in on him and put her right hand on his cheek, "You were the cutest and kindest of all males I have met and the past is best be forgotten. And Finally twerp It's either me or you lead your life as a loner. Your choice."

He somehow blurted out "So, will it work out?"

She cunningly replied "So you don't want it to work out?Do you hate me?"

"I-I didn't mean it, I-you we, it's all happening too fast for me. I don't hate You."

"I know, the steamroller and many other times you stuck your neck out for me, I know you never hated me." She contently replied.

"I think I can give it a shot, but still, often in past you just humiliated me when I put my guard down?" He somehow managed to squeak.

"What possibly can I gain from it Twerp? btw I won't be forcing this on you, but your stars say that it is either me or none, the choice is yours." now she sounded little hurt and apathetic.

Timmy suddenly hugged Vicki aka Madame Birkoff tightly and whispered in her ears, "Better to date a known devil than an Unknown God."

* * *

The glitch involved in the charecter selection has been taken care off. Thanks to Dragonghost.


End file.
